Insomnia During a Breakup

There is an actual name for a broken heart: Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy. This long-winded word means extreme stress from heartbreak, and it is a very real experience some people have to go through.

Heartbreak is a living, breathing personal torment that most of us encounter at one point or another in our lives. The loss of love can present itself in a form so severe, the grief can leave room for many other serious conditions such as insomnia, loss of appetite, depression, anxiety and even suicide or death.

“It has been concluded that rejection and emotional and physical pain are all processed in the same regions of the brain,” says Aimee Barr, LCSW. “The experience of heartbreak is so potent that researchers have concluded that those who have recently been through a breakup display similar brain activity when shown photos of their loved one as they do when in physical pain.”

She continues, “I believe that heartbreak is one of the most emotionally grueling experiences anyone can go through.”

Such severe emotions no doubt have a profound effect on your sleep, when memories of happier times can creep into your mind and invade your thoughts when you’re trying to fall asleep at night. When you are moving on from heartbreak, sleep can feel like the enemy.

Stronger Than You Think

The end of the year is universally a time for reflection over how we have interacted with the different aspects of our lives. With as tumultuous and uncertain this year has represented, it may feel daunting to revisit how things may have unfolded. For most, it is been a year of finding new meaning of existing and navigating our way through life. For me, it has felt more like being surrounded by glass walls where I can see exactly where I want to go, but instead ramming my face into the barriers this year has inadvertently presented.

It is easier to recall all the ways our plans have unraveled as the year progressed. We could have been excited to seek adventure in relationships, partnerships and collaborations. Perhaps we were looking for new friendships to join in on our explorations or focused more on learning new truths about ourselves at the start of this year.

I would like to present an invitation to join me in navigating ways that we have cultivated strength this year.

Comparison: The Thief of Holiday Joy

The holiday season is the perfect presentation of the romanticized view we hold of love, family, and romance (Every kiss begins with Kay!). The Commercials reflect the joy, connection, and wholesome embrace of goodwill and peace. It is also the perfect recipe for comparison and feeling slapped with the loneliness of being reminded of everything you do not have and not being where you should be.

A common theme during the holidays is the slight despondence of where we are relationally. The pressure of either following through with the expectations of the relationships we hold, or of being involved in the societal expectations of having family and relationships. This time can really highlight our own insecurities of what is and what should be.

Finding Passion Amidst the Struggle

This year has taught us collectively the power we hold to be resilient. For some, it has been a time for self- awareness, focus on health and family, courage to face and challenge unhealthy behavior or relational patterns, and a chance to go inward and find what we truly hold dear. For others, (myself included) it has been more of a demented roller coaster of coping, balancing roles and responsibilities and overall trying to keep a hold of the already overflowing platter of expectations to just make it through the day.

No matter where you fall on this spectrum, affirm that what you are doing, and what you have to offer is enough.

Learning To Love Yourself

Self-love begins with inner-balance and peace. We have to recognize all the experiences, beliefs, and perceptions that make up who we are. They represent the different aspects of you, which must be brought into harmony in order to regain standpoint of self-love. We can heal any wound, and free ourselves from suffering whenever we choose to view our experiences through the lens of acceptance.

Do you have difficulty with truly loving yourself? Are you able to open your heart and be completely honest about who you are, and what you feel? Are you able to look at where you are at in life right now with tolerance and inner peace?